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Ooga Chakka

December 10, 2007

It’s 11am so I guess it’s finally time for me to start doing something here at work. This weekend was pretty crazy and a lot of shit happened. There is a lot to talk about. Please bear with me because I hate using bullet points so you may get lost in the fray if you’re not careful.

I went back to college on Thursday to visit some friends and burn a few vacation days. On Friday we accomplished absolutely nothing other than buying a few kegs and watching several discs of Entourage (in random order none the less). I had a calzone the size of a 2 year old child and we tapped the kegs at about 7:30pm. Sounds about right.

Yet another reason not to shop retail. Traffic, lines, assault rifle wielding gunmen. This was just bound to happen. This incident reflects two things that I’ve said for a long time:

1) The fastest way to be famous is to start shooting people
2) It’s remarkably easy to walk into a crowded public place and do whatever you want

When I step into a really crowded public area, sometimes it occurs to me how easy it would be to go on a killing spree and inflict a lot of casualties. Because I’m well adjusted, this doesn’t happen, but frankly I’m rather surprised it doesn’t happen more often. As if I needed another reason not to go to malls. Or Nebraska.

I’m a big fan of unintentional comedy and that CNN article doesn’t fail to deliver:

But she said she thought he was improving, as he had gotten a job, a haircut and a girlfriend.

“First we get the jobs, then we get the khakis, THEN we get the chicks.”

Man I’m only 1 for 3 on this job/haircut/girlfriend thing. Finally my sadistic urges to go on a killing spree feel warranted. Let’s move on.

Are you kidding me? A joke is a joke is a joke, and I’m a huge fan of gallows humor. But if this guy thought he was doing anything but asking for trouble he’s out of his mind.

After seeing the pictures, a Virginia Tech student created a Facebook group called, “People Against This Costume.” Some of the upset members have left threatening messages to the Penn State students.

“This is a group of college students who now think it’s trendy to be upset about their friends being killed,” one of the two Penn State students who wore the costume said. “I don’t know what they teach people in Virginia Tech, but at Penn State we don’t learn to threaten people with murder to teach them that murdering is wrong.”

He goes on to defend the pictures.

“The thing is, everybody’s making a big stink about Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech was 32 deaths out of the 26 thousand that happen in America everyday,” he said. “That’s the problem with college students. They all live in an ivory tower of privilege. They don’t understand, when it all boils down to it, it’s someone wearing a costume.”

I’m sure this fell on deaf ears for the most part, but he makes a pretty good argument. And of course the “offended” PSU students responded with total class…by sending these people death threats. I’m not sure I share his enormous stones, I wouldn’t have the balls to wear a costume like that, but we seem to be on the same page as far as our feelings on people who go out of their way to be offended by certain things.

Fear not, nobody has ruined the 2nd best Virginia Tech themed Halloween costume. Numbing up the right side of your face and going as football coach Frank Beamer:

Anyway, on to more important things: David Hasselhoff music videos. I’m not going to give anything away about this video, but you must understand that this isn’t a fan edited clip. It’s the final cut that was shown on German music television. With that in mind, enjoy…

WHAT. THE. FUCK? This is easily one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The song only has about six lyrics, including the chants of “ooga chakka”. The whole production raises a million questions. What is with the dogs? There was a production meeting about this video, you understand, and it went something like this:

Editor: Okay, we’re almost done but the video is missing something.
Director: We’ve got him standing on a tobaggon, floating around, singing in a swamp, a dancing fish man, and a motorcycle scene in which we make no effort to make it look like the motorcycle’s wheels are even moving. What’s left?
Editor: Hmmm. I’ve got it.
Director: What?
Editor: Daschunds.

As ridiculous as the entire thing is, nothing makes less sense than the dogs.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ashley permalink
    December 10, 2007 12:26 pm

    I wonder what the response would be if someone dressed up as say, a homless army veteran for Halloween and walked the streets of DC.

  2. December 11, 2007 12:21 am

    Looks like Hasselhoff had the same creative director as every Bollywood music video ever. (For example: http://youtube.com/watch?v=yRmqZRPgK1w)

    That whole thing looks like one of those things celebrities do in other countries because the money is good, but they secretly pray it never makes it back to the US.

    There’s a site I can’t find right now with clips of all sorts of embarrassing ads with big name celebrities in foreign (usually Asian, for some reason) countries that clearly they would never do in the US. Like Bill Murray’s character in “Lost in Translation.” If someone knows the URL please post it. 🙂

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