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“Golden Compass” selling atheism…$9, $7.50 with student ID

December 4, 2007

Golden Compass debuts next Friday, albeit at the disdain of many religious freaks with nothing better to do than whine about the film preaching atheism (oxymoron?). CNN has an article and it’s frankly pretty difficult to get through it without at least laughing silently to yourself at the ridiculous hypocrisy with which some of these people conduct their daily business…nay, their daily lives. I wonder what it feels like to wake up one morning and realize that you’ve basically devoted your entire career to what amounts to basically just bothering people and bitching incessantly. I’ll never know and most likely these nuts won’t either. The article offers some reprieve as some religious folk that have some sense about them chime in, along with another nutjob who seems to think the obviously anti-organized religion movie/books actually supports Catholicism or something. What the Christ, indeed.

Based on the first volume in the award-winning trilogy “His Dark Materials” by religious skeptic Philip Pullman, the movie already has been condemned by conservative Roman Catholics and evangelicals. They say it will hook children into Pullman’s books and a dark, individualistic world where all religion is evil.

Nothing a good brainwashing at bible camp can’t fix!

For the record, the movie is rated PG-13, it’s not exactly intended for young children. But these are probably the same people that buy Grand Theft Auto for their kids and then complain that their kid is killing hookers when he plays the game. HELLO! The hookers in GTA are always carrying tons of cash and it’s an easy way to get money. Your son is an enterprising young man.

But at least one liberal scholar has called the trilogy a “theological masterpiece,” and the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops rates the film “intelligent and well-crafted entertainment.”

These bishops are probably just secretly gay for Daniel Craig.

“The Golden Compass” traces a 12-year-old girl named Lyra from Oxford, England, to the Arctic to the edge of another universe, where she becomes locked in a battle between good and evil. The characters are shadowed by their own “daemons,” talking animal companions that take on soul-like qualities.

Something tells me Phillip Pullman spends a lot of time hanging around the comics section at Books a Million. This sounds like a live action Yu-Gi-Oh movie.

In early October, the New York-based Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights launched a boycott of the film, calling it “selling atheism to kids” at Christmastime in stealth fashion.

Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. I should have stopped reading there.

Catholic author Sandra Miesel is among those who call “His Dark Materials” the “anti-Narnia.” Miesel co-authored a forthcoming book, “Pied Piper of Atheism: Philip Pullman and Children’s Fantasy.”

Among her complaints: Every clergy person is evil, and their daemons typically take the form of snakes or frogs. And standing in contrast to the Christian belief in heaven, Pullman’s afterlife consists of bodies breaking into particles and being recycled into the material world.

Other critiques have appeared on evangelical blogs and Web sites. Adam Holz of Focus on the Family, writing on the Christian ministry’s Plugged In site, calls Pullman’s books and the film a “deliberate attempt to foist his viciously anti-God beliefs upon his audience.”

My chief issue with all of this is not that these people are complaining. I bitch about things all the time. We all do. It’s fun, it gives us something to talk about. If I could get paid to whine about things like these folks I’d probably take that job in a heartbeat.

However most of these blowhards are telling people not to let their kids see this movie or read these books; the children aren’t capable of deciding for themselves what to believe. A startling number of them even want the movie banned. What? You can use your freedom of speech to tout your beliefs and ideas (read: propaganda), but this guy shouldn’t be able to have a movie about his? If this movie was badmouthing Islam I’m sure they’d have few complaints.

“If you just say ‘no’ to your kids without engaging in a conversation, they’re going to see the movie anyway and all you’re teaching them is power, not really teaching your values,” Paccate said. “If we have faith, what are we afraid of?”

Ding ding ding. This Paccate lady speaks the the truth. Unfortunately there seems to be a disproportionate number of lobbyist groups spewing hatred and crying foul than there are groups with a view like Paccate’s. Then again, if the bothersome groups just exist to serve themselves, a group with Paccate’s feelings would merely just exist to counter them. It’s a vicious cycle.

These people all just need to relax. It’s a fucking movie. It’s not going to automatically subvert your child. If it does he probably didn’t care for Catholicism anyway. Maybe you should let your young adult sleep in, since he was probably out with his friends drinking and smoking behind your back on Saturday night. There’s always time for Jesus after he commits a felony.

Or just believe whatever comes out of the mouth of the guy wearing a robe and the people who listen to him.


“Just sit back and relax…and allow the mystery gas to do its work.”

One Comment leave one →
  1. Ashley permalink
    December 4, 2007 2:08 pm

    I had absolutely no desire to see this movie, but now I’m kind of intrigued.

    On that note, please, please, please see JESUS CAMP. Seriously the best documentary I’ve seen in a very long time, probably ever. You’ll laugh, cry, gasp, and deficate on yourself all within ninety minutes.

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