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Another reason to stay inside

November 13, 2007

I feel very refreshed from a day of “working at home”. Just like Adam, I’m a consultant on a government contract. Most of the employees at my building had the day off, so many that the lights weren’t going to be on, they had to be specially requested to be turned on in specific areas. Despite this, there was surprisingly lengthy consideration that we would come in yesterday anyway. Par for the course, I suppose.

Now that I’m back at work, I’m also back to entertaining myself with random links that I click on. Today’s theme: sports violence. For the general public, there’s nothing quite as intense as a large sporting event. So, for today, I offer up 3 situations which can augment your live sports viewing experience.

First, getting punched in the face and jumped on by a large Samoan man:

As we were looking back to see the replay board in order to watch the replay of Colt getting knocked out, the large Samoan man who had been cussing at us the entire game with his son on his lap got out of his seat. He walked down about 4 rows, pushed a female Fresno fan out of the way, and bitch slapped her dad in the face. The Samoan then proceeded to try to jump on him. At this point, all hell broke loose and Hawaii fans descended from the upper rows, most trying to get a fight going by swinging at Fresno fans in the immediate vicinity. Folks started to yell franticly for the cops who were on the field about 20 rows below us. The incompetent police officers spent the next 5 minutes trying to figure out how to get into our section and ended up scaling a wall. All the while, Hawaii fans were throwing punches.

Yes, you’re reading that right. A huge guy left the seats he was sharing with his family to come down and bitch slap some guy and then try to jump on him. I’m sure you’re all aware of the sheer size that those crazy Polynesians grow to. That can’t be fun. It’s also super classless and that whole article makes me sick. Tons of rejects in Hawaii, $24 cases of beer? Mark that off the rapidly growing list of places to never live and avoid visiting.

Second, a great way to get pumped for the big game is of course getting shot in the neck by a stray bullet.

The Juventus fans in today’s incident were traveling to a match at Parma. The Italian soccer federation canceled Sunday evening’s scheduled match in Rome between Cagliari and Roma, which shares the Olympic Stadium with Lazio.

As a mark of respect following the fan’s death, other Serie A matches started 10 minutes late, and players and referees wore black armbands.

In Milan, about 400 fans threw rocks at a police station, and supporters in Siena yelled “murderers” at police working around the stadium there, Agence France-Presse reported.

Again, yes, you’re reading that right. The Juventus fans started the fight on their way to the game. Unfuckingbelievable. Well, actually, very believable if you know anything about Italian soccer.

Tonight, fans attacked police near Rome’s Olympic Stadium, where Lazio plays, and then raided the nearby Italian Olympic committee building, Sky said.

Of course they did.

Third, this infectious dance sensation.

And I don’t mean infectious like laughter. I mean infectious like Hepatitis. Or AIDS. Or SARS. Or gangrene. Actually I’m not even sure gangrene is infectious, but it’s fucking horrible, just like that dance.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. marino permalink
    November 13, 2007 12:38 pm

    fun generalization for everyone to consider: native Hawaiin’s HATE white people from the contiguous 48.

    they loathe them. obviously owing to culture and sheer geographical proximity (lack thereof) Hawaii is nothing like the rest of the U.S., and its natives are not fond of white people and the tourists hordes that decend on their islands.

    i was in Hawaii a few years ago on a trip with my family, and my siblings and i ventured inland (we were in Kawaii) from the beach we were staying at in order to catch a movie. we ended up going to some srip mall with all locals and there was a palpable disdain for us. granted, it was probably just me and my family pissing them off, but in my experience, Hawaiins (sp?) hate white Americans.

    so there you have it. my fuzzy recollection of a personal experience 7 years ago explains why those fans at UH are such incredibly assholes. you’re welcome.

  2. andy permalink*
    November 13, 2007 1:58 pm

    No, it’s not really a generalization, most people I know say the same thing. The place I originally got this link from had fans from Hawaii chiming in to agree. It probably doesn’t help that the normal American tourist dresses and acts like a complete moron on vacation. I hate tourists in this city too, but I can do little about it, as I am not 430lb.s with mean looking tattoos on my face (there is your gross generalization).

  3. Ashley permalink
    November 13, 2007 5:03 pm

    Ummm… I’m pretty sure the Soulja Boy Dance is the coolest thing ever.

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