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Casually Morbid

November 9, 2007

Some psychopath kid in Finland went on a school shooting rampage and downed 8 of his classmates. He posted YouTube videos warning people about this, nobody paid attention, blah blah blah, we’ve heard this song and dance before. It’s sad and tragic, but part of the AP article did pleasantly surprise me (yeah, I’m going to hell, see you there):

Armed with a semiautomatic handgun and 500 rounds of ammunition, 18-year-old Pekka-Eric Auvinen emptied nearly 20 rounds into some of his eight victims Wednesday, police said.

Whoever wrote this article deserves a gold star for knowing the difference between a semiautomatic and automatic firearm. I can’t count the number of times I see a news story about a handgun shooting and the killer used an “automatic handgun”. Ummmmmmmm, no. Automatic implies the gun keeps firing as long as you hold the trigger down. Moreover, automatic handguns don’t really exist (this is as close as it gets, and you still need 2 hands for fully automatic firing). Yeah, morbid to get some amount of enjoyment out of this kind of article, but whatever. It’s also pretty impressive that he killed 8 people with a .22 caliber gun in 20 shots. Europe must just breed efficient psychopaths or something. The same American kids with a .22 unload like 95 shots, injure 14 and kill 1. First the Dream Team craps itself in the Olympics, then our child killers are upstaged by those in Finland, and the USD is fastly approaching worthlessness. The U.S. sucks.


I hate sex offenders just as much as anyone else who doesn’t drive around in a windowless conversion van offering candy to young children does, but I also think there’s a huge problem with the “zero tolerance” approach to branding people as such. Take this recent article, from somewhere in Michigan:

The criminal sexual conduct charge stemmed from a relationship the younger Sorenson had had with an underage girl, his father said. His sex offender status was “a cloud that hung over his head,” his mother Kim told WXYZ-TV.

I could be wrong, but I’m reading that and assuming he probably got hit on a statutory rape charge, which is somewhat ridiculous to begin with. With the recent changes to sex crime laws, pretty much anyone who gets booked on anything criminally aligned with sex is labeled a “sex offender”. You can get it for soliciting a prostitute. Most people I know would never solicit some random street hooker, but people do get drunk and make bets, so I could see it happening to someone I know. God forbid it’s an undercover cop posing as a hooker.

The point is that there are probably a good number of people championing the death of this guy…people that would look into your face and tell you they’re glad he’s dead. That’s just a little fucked up if you ask me, considering you can get slapped with the sex offender label just for dicking around (no pun intended) if you’re not careful.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Adam permalink*
    November 9, 2007 11:17 am

    Your preemptive defense of sexual predators make me wonder about your plans for the future.

    Sort of like that 30 Rock episode where Tracy is looking for a church to join, because juries don’t believe defendants who only find religion after they get caught doing something bad.

  2. andy permalink*
    November 9, 2007 11:51 am

    It’s funny that most people try to collude and bully a sex offender to move out of their neighborhood. Ironically, the way most sex offense laws are written, when you move to a new area you need to go door to door introducing people and letting them know you are registered.

    Moving by itself is a huge pain in the ass and I can’t imagine the humiliation of having to do that. Needless to say I think it would take nothing short of a pitchfork and torch kicking-in-the-door attack from the neighborhood to make a sex offender want to move again.

  3. Keri permalink
    November 9, 2007 12:28 pm

    I think the problem with statutory rape is that line in the sand – I know the “legal” age is 17 in Texas because of some unfortunate jokes made by guys there – but you could be talking about a 16 year old and a 17 year old. I think it is very unfair for someone to be labeled a sex offender because some girl’s parents are pissed that she’s having sex with her boyfriend. Now, if she’s 13 and the guy is 25, that is a whole different story. There is no way you are mistaking a 13 year old for 17 and even then, you’re 25, she’s in highschool, there is definitely something wrong with that.

  4. andy permalink*
    November 9, 2007 12:32 pm

    Most states have a 3 year cushion. I know in Ohio, you could have a 15 year old girlfriend and do her as long as you weren’t older than 18. And 19 with a 16 year old and so on.

    I don’t think this covers being a 34 year old teacher and taking a 12 year old to Mexico to marry him, unfortunately for a lot of women.

  5. Adam permalink*
    November 9, 2007 12:36 pm

    Andy do you remember in our Law and Economics class when the prof showed us that story about a community that was going to pay a sex offender to not move on their street? All of a sudden multiple sex offenders threatened to move there if they too didn’t get payment.

    You don’t want a sex offender moving near you, but if you become too vocal about it you start attracting them to your neighborhood.

  6. andy permalink*
    November 9, 2007 12:46 pm

    That’s sort of like the girls who complain about all the guys they date are jerks. I think that’s code for “you can be an asshole and I’ll still have sex with you”. Inadvertent advertisement at its best.

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