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The Onion needs a form letter article for school shootings too

September 21, 2007
by

I think The Onion really needs one, much like their Southeast Asian natural disaster form letter.

DOVER, Del. – Two students were shot and wounded, one seriously, at Delaware State University early Friday, and the campus was locked down as police searched for a gunman, officials said.

Classes were canceled for the day and students were being kept inside.

“They’ve been directed to stay in their dorms,” university spokesman Carlos Holmes said. “We don’t know where the shooter’s at.”

Gates at the university’s main entrance prevented people from driving onto campus.

My god, what a novel concept. People get shot and the shooter is on the loose so the students have to stay inside! Whoever made this decision should be in line for a Nobel prize, or at least a job running Virginia Tech.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Adam permalink*
    September 21, 2007 7:18 pm

    It was only a matter of time before you busted out the Ooga Booga Land article.

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